The day started out great today. After work I met up with liesel, sm oi and alex for dinner at brewerks. It was a really great time but I'm too upset now to go in to detail about it.

Monetary problems just strikes that chord in me and causes my relapse. I feel like the biggest loser in the world. A blunt blade does nothing but grazes the skin. Now we all know why I'm never going to be a surgeon. I hate all this uni crap, it just messes with my head. Sometimes I feel like just making myself the biggest fuck up of all and just go to fass and live on the streets. I shall just grad from arts sch and be a busker on the roadside and turn out to be the homocidal primary sch teacher who goes on the rampage to hunt down on her bloody students. Why the fuck does everyone just look down on fass and say business is a hell lot better? But there always that little optimistic bit of light they try to shed on my situation, saying that oh you should pursue your passion and not the money. Fuck.

I just want to shoot myself in the head and end this damn thing. Maybe I shouldn't even go to uni. So what if I have the chance to pursue my tertiary education. It's not even what I want and what I am going to study would probably cause me to end up unemployed in the end too. I may as well end my life, before I have to see myself turn into a bum who still sleeps in the same room as her mom when she is like in her twenties and would most likely be in the same situation till she is thirty.